Ubidays 08: The Good, the Bad and The Evil
It’s been an underwhelming few weeks in the games business. Not an unusual turn of events at all considering the calm that typically precedes the media storm of E3, but, to tip the Ace Gamez hat at just a few of this year’s highlights, with the release of Burnout Paradise, a new Devil May Cry and GTA IV, what, I wonder, has been typical about 2008 thus far? Nonetheless, embargoes across the internet lifted yesterday on the assorted revelations of Ubidays 08, and around the world, Tom Clancy franchise fanboys wondered in unison where the prolific French developer had hidden the latest iteration of Ghost Recon.
Other than that strange oversight, the news thus far has proved well worth a look. Before we get our teeth into the good stuff, though, let’s get the relative non-events out of the way. HAWX has a rather ridiculous acronym for a name but looks solid enough otherwise; the new Brothers in Arms I could honestly care less about, although it’s worth saying that the transition to next-gen looks to have gone very smoothly, without losing the unique squad mechanics that sold the series to its many fans in the past; and the less said about Rayman Raving Rabbids TV Party and Easy Way to Stop Smoking the better.
To my surprise, newcomer Shaun White Snowboarding looks rather promising. On the Wii it’ll feature full balance-board intergration, making the expense of that accessory in Europe a little less outrageous. On the PS3 and Xbox 360, meanwhile, the über-powerful Assassin’s Creed engine looks to be performing better than ever in the trailer. We can only hope it proves to be the sport’s Skate rather than another Tony Hawk-inspired button-masher – I expect SSX has that covered already, anyway.
More groundbreaking, however, is Far Cry 2. Take the much-discussed setting of Resident Evil 5, open the world up in the mold of Grand Theft Auto, throw in the excellent, if somewhat extravagant FPS mechanics of the original Far Cry - and what do you have? Pure awesome, perhaps. We can only hope.
Despite talk of an Earth-shattering new paint job, the trailer for the relaunched Prince of Persia looks strangely familiar, and for all the talk of revolutionary new gameplay, the dark/light angle has been done too often already. So it’s certainly no Okami, nor worlds apart from the previous instalments in the series, but distinct enough all the same to get a little excited about. If you ask me, it’s been too long since we wall-crawled our way to winning our very own Arabian princesses anyway.
But none of these games can stand up to the highlight of Ubidays 08: Beyond Good and Evil 2. Yes, you read right. Music to these ears, and plenty more besides. Despite rock-bottom sales of the first game, creator extraordinaire Michel Ancel is bringing back the critically-acclaimed Beyond Good and Evil for another go-around. One of the most singular experiences I’ve ever had with a video game, or indeed in any media, I was next to inconsolable when its abysmal sales figures came through to seal the unfortunate fate of an often sung but obviously not often bought piece of brilliance. That this sequel could be greenlit boggles the mind (in a good way!) and reassures some of the more serious concerns I have about the industry that regulates our entertainment of choice. What could possibly be next? Metroid Dread at last? A follow-up to Wii adventure gem Zack and Wiki?
At least on the latter count, I’ve certainly heard as much. Readers: rejoice!
Black and Blue and Red All Over
My second review for Ace Gamez – that motley lot of British game journos fool enough to initiate me into the gang – is up on the front page now. Click through here to read how I craftily temper my disappointment with Condemned 2: Bloodshot with a diatribe about the heretofore unparallelled genius of the first level of Criminal Origins, the first game in what has become an apparent go-to franchise for F.E.A.R developers Monolith. I’m perversely pleased that my review has dropped the Metacritic average for the game a point – honestly, the overwhelming enthusiasm with which some press outlets heralded the release of Condemend 2 has me at something of a loss. It’s a pretty game, to be sure, scary and tense and assuredly excellent at times, but fundamentally flawed; you might even say broken, at least from the halfway point. Head on over the read the rest.
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In other news, today marks the fifth day since my 46′ Sharp Aquos LCD took leave of its senses and ran away with some repair-people. It suffered from excruciating banding since the day I bought it, which – although it wasn’t enough to convince the appaling Sharpserv customer service to sort it out – has since developed into a rather more obvious problem: alternate lines of pixels dying altogether. Thankfully I sprung for an extended warranty and the repair agent has recommened my insurers cough up on the new-for-old policy I took out. Excellent news indeed.
But in the meantime, no TV, no games, no Blu-ray. I’ve been prodigiously productive since my baby left me, but I’d take her back in an instant – if only to tide me over until I can talk my way into a new (and perhaps slightly bigger… oh yes) model.
Later tonight or tomorrow, All Things Uncertain readers can look forward to a spontaneous little riff on what to expect of the spectacular season of Summer movies that await us. I mostly mean the new Batman, of course.
eBaby on Buy-it-Now
BBC News are reporting that authorities have taken a seven month-old baby into protective custody after eBayers tattle-tailed on the auction. Described as ‘nearly new’ and for use in a baby carrier or a stroller, the seller went on to give precise dimensions of the item for sale.
When eBay ended the auction after just a few hours, no bids had yet been placed – buyers were no doubt waiting for the last minute to snipe the infant for their collections.
Methinks a certain police force badly need to grow themselves a sense of humour. Once again, it’s safe to conclude that the internet is perhaps not the best place for sarcasm. For her brave efforts, All Things Uncertain offer the poor mother (who’s now being made to undergo psychiatric evaluation) a brief but resonant round of applause.
All Thing Unbush
Damn you Gavin Rossdale, damn you.
I loved Bush. From Sixteen Stone right through to Golden State, there was precious little about Bush that I didn’t enjoy. At least in the circles that surround me, Bush aren’t exactly the most popular of bands, but all you haters can go to hell – music doesn’t need indiscernible metal screaming to be worthwhile any more than it needs that old chestnut, the Top bloody 40. When Bush broke up after what was arguably their finest hour, I lamented another in a long line of losses. Skunk Anansie were gone, and the Smashing Pumpkins too.
Tell me, musicians: why are you suddenly more capable without a band to back you up? How is the talent of one individual more worth exploring than the collective talents of an ensemble? Billy Corgan, the fool, learned that lesson well enough – The Smashing Pumpkins are back now, apparently; although what remains of the genius they used to embody is debatable. And where did Skin from Skunk Anansie go? Where are your Charlie Big Potatoes now, I wonder?
So when Gavin Rossdale decided Bush wasn’t for him anymore, I felt a little glum and went on with my life. And then: Institue. What a waste of time that little project was. Lesson learned, you’d think. Get the band back together and recapture your identity, Rossdale – be something more than just Gwen Stefani’s shadow puppet. But no. It’s time, instead, for a solo album, a torrent of which was leaked at the usual haunts yesterday. Know this, constant readers: it is just… appaling. Rossdale is obviously out to emulate the classic Bush of yore, but Wanderlust falls flat everywhere that counts. Empty, hollow, tired and utterly unappealing – epic fail, as teh internets say. The voice is all it has, and this isn’t spoken word Rossdale, this is music. Swallow your pride and go begging – then, maybe, I’ll think about caring again.
Incidentally, the same goes for you, Stefani. I miss Spiderwebs.
The Close Encounters of Henry Jones Jnr: A Review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
It’s been a while since I cared enough about a film to catch it on its opening night, and let it be said: I did not care enough about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to do so. And yet, the night before last, the curious creature that occasionally steals my sofa appeared at the door and demanded we pay a visit to the new Vue cinema that’s opened up in the back end of beyond we call home. My pleas to see Neil Marshall’s Doomsday or Iron Man instead went unheard. The continuing adventures of an increasingly decrepit Dr Henry Jones it was, then.
A few days after the fact, I remain pleasantly surprised by almost the whole affair. Of course there’s a but - I have a but for everything these days – but Indy 4 wasn’t the sordid grave-robbing I’ll admit to presuming it would be. I don’t know that there’s anyone around who sat through all three instalments of George Lucas’ wholesale rape of the Star Wars saga that still clings to the hope he won’t anti-Midas anything he touches in the future into shit. Thankfully, though, it seems Spielberg held tight to the directorial reigns of The Crystal Skull – at least until the film’s last hokey act.
The World Ends With Who?
Where GTA IV refines the formula of the franchise into a fine art indeed, it’s hardly a revolution in gameplay or game design - just a great game. But of everything I’ve played throughout this year of our Lord, the game to have impressed me most has to be The World Ends With You. Perhaps its unassuming excellence just caught me unguarded; maybe coming across such a fully fledged experience on the DS – of all systems – knocked me for six. One way or another, though, Squeenix’s latest is worth your time, your money and your admiration. Click on through to read my review of The World Ends With You for Ace Gamez.
Lifeless Void
I find myself curiously taken in by EA’s upcoming Event Horizon meets Resident Evil mashup. The hype machine propelling Dead Space at this very early stage just spat out a chilling little preview:
This is mostly a test to see if I can properly embed video content at my various haunts, but do clicky clicky. It’s early days, but it seems like the developers already have the perfect atmosphere for their game – sadly, the script seems a little clunky even now.
Uncertainty Restored
Yay, fixed the silly html that was bolding random posts and making the whole blog a little hinky. That’ll teach me to copy and paste from Word.
And look: pretty new layout, plus new content. Ooooh…
Surfer Girl Reviews Star Wars No More
For almost a year, an anonymous industry insider set the rumour mill turning. From the bitter break-up of the Bioshock dev team, apparently worked near-to death under Ken Levine, to the unexpected watercolour workings of the forthcoming Prince of Persia trilogy, Surfer Girl broke enough significant news in her time that it seems an unjust slight to send her off without so much as a blog-post salute. She was often wrong, of course, but as EA’s pre-title pop-ups might have observed a few years ago, it’s in the game. The business of rumour-mongering is hardly one of certainties and sure-fire assertions – to read through her predictions without that proverbial pinch of salt on your tongue is a fools’ errand indeed – but as often as not, Surfer Girl, sworn enemy to PR shills everywhere, was more on-the-money than any Quartermann.
A curious thing, happened, though. After an initial flurry of attention, Surfer Girl’s words began to go unheeded. She’d front-and-centre a story more worthy of readers’ time and attention than any of Kotaku’s infamous game cakes or Destructoid’s ill-advised lolcats, but not even those bastions of apparently unrated news reportage picked up on her statements. Neither of those blogs are afraid to run rumours – with every other issue of EGM, a post inevitably pops up to alert those without subscriptions to the collective speculations of that magazine’s staff. But not Surfer Girl. Or, at the least, never linking back to Surfer Girl. Not since December of last year has Brian Crecente’s tower of editors even mentioned her, despite the official confirmation of numerous rumours she’d run since – the existence of Resistance 2, a Viva Pinata sequel, Guitar Hero 4, a new Fight Night, We Ski; I could (and Surfer Girl does) go on. In the face of interminable updates on purposeless, if cool-looking case mods and yet more cake-cooking mamas, not to mention Ashcraft’s patented pornographic asides or the increasingly meaningless predictions of industry analyst Michael Pachter, the audiences these blogs cater to would certainly think these stories newsworthy. And yet: nothing.
Shadow of the Colossus: A Review of Colossus – The Forbin Project on DVD
In 1970, as the cold war began at last to cool and the increasingly controversial conflict in Vietnam took its place at front and centre of the cultural conscience, paranoia was in the air. Not coincidentally, among the hottest topics of the era was humanity’s increasing reliance on technology – in particular where the incremental leaps and bounds made on that front might take us as a people. And then, along came Colossus.
