Anarchy On The Internets

February 5, 2008 at 11:12 (Rants) (, , , , , )

Oh hackers, have you forsaken us?

For those of you less informed in the ways of the under-internets – and let me say, you have my admiration for such incredible restraint – RedTube is a XXX take on the formidable YouTube; an unbound Web 2.0 enterprise dedicated to the sharing of amateur and commercial pornography alike.  Ventured into the forbidding darkness of the adult DVD section in your local HMV?  Up your favourite scenes.  Found a particularly titilating clip in amongst the sagging thirtysomething teens that populated the last torrent you trawled through the PinkTorrent archives to find?  Cap it and share your discovery with fellow perverts around the world.  Have a particularly filthy video of your ex on your camera phone?  With the magic of Redtube, you too can humiliate and exploit that self-righteous bitch with the magic of RedTube.

Got porn?  Get RedTubed.  Someday needs to pay me for this shit.

All of which might tend to suggest that RedTube, the the latest victim in the madcap war hackers are waging against organisations the internets over, had it coming.  Well, I wouldn’t say otherwise for a moment.  All I’m asking is: really, hackers?  Really?

The precedent in the past has been to hit high-profile targets that need taking down a peg or ten.  The RIAA were (and remain) backwards-looking old fools that seem as intent now as they ever were on prosecuting the unsuspecting parents of minor filesharers the world over and otherwise ruining music for us all with stupid DRM designed to wring as much money out of the people as possible.  The hack of the Church of Scientology’s online “presence” was a real masterstroke.  We all know what utter twits these money-mad Hollywood hopes and hopefuls are; to expose the ridiculous backbone of their so-called beliefs was a brilliant move, and surely a more effective – not to mention subtle – means of undermining what little authority they hope to inspire than a lolcatz jpg or a picture of a penis.  And hey, I’m as much of an achievement whore as the next guy, but Microsoft have been asking for it for decades.

To the hackers responsible for the attacks above, I think I speak for all of the right-thinking users of the Holy Trinity of Ws when I salute you.  There’s a difference between terrorism and revolution.  I won’t pretend to know what it is exactly, but I’d bet good money this story speaks directly to the lines that define those acts.  And the RedTube hack?  Just another mindless act of violence.  A petty grudge settled in the crudest manner I can imagine.  A misguided muslim with a head full of religious propaganda and a heart full of hope for a better world.  And maybe the world would be a better place without Redtube; maybe a hundred thousand more IEDs will kill off the momentum of the power-mad regimes that have brought our very homes into the sights of opportunistic extremists.  Infidelity is in the eye of beholder, after all, and who’s to say the West is on the side of the good and the right and the true every time it picks a fight.  Who among us can honestly say our ideas of morality and freedom are somehow more equal than all of the others?

Look.  I’m sure those responsible for this hack have their reasons.  Any questions of piracy aside, RedTube can be out-and-out offensive.  Hell, some of the clips up there are so disgusting they’ll curl your toes.  I still remember the Japanese girls who took it upon themselves to experiment with a bucket of live eels and the capacity of their bodily cavities; and we’d be fools to forget the legend that has become of a particular pair of girls and their cup.  You will not enjoy all of these videos.  You will not be turned on by an underfed young gentleman bent on spreading his seed into a selection of see-through dolls.  But you do not matter.  These videos were made by someone, for someone (and going by the hits they’ve each recieved, not just a few someones either).  Who are you to deny them?  RedTube caters to a specific audience in much the same way that not everybody cares to mash F5 on Engadget or Kotaku every other minute.  It’s exploitative and explicit and damnit, it’s meant to be.  That’s the whole point.  If it’s not for you, Mr Hacker Extraordinaire, fine.  You can like paint little Jesuses on your easter eggs or you can face the West to be sure Allah hears your prayers; you can love everyone and I’ll go on hating everything, but neither you nor I can be the judge of other people’s beliefs or fetishes or freedoms.

So for those poor souls feeling deprived of their daily dose of double-penetration, I give you HaPorn.  Or PornoTube.  Or xTube.  You can click on them.  Or, you can not.  That’s what’s so beautiful about the world we live in, the very same world that gave us the internets in the first place.  Now, go hack the DRM out of iTunes – but no stealing credit cards, please, and honest, I can live without another portrait of your balls.



  1. dwpbike said,

    bottom line: the hacks deprive me of a choice. i like redtube, in part because i can choose what to see, as you did, also. i also liked it because it was free and did not try to capture my browser. does this mean the porn industry is financing jihad hacks?

    p.s.: thanks for the links.

  2. Easter » Anarchy On The Internets said,

    […] Slice of Scifi – Science Fiction TV & Movie News, Interviews & more wrote an interesting post today on Anarchy On The InternetsHere’s a quick excerpt…point.  If it’s not for you, Mr Hacker Extraordinaire, fine.  You can like paint little Jesuses on your easter eggs or you can face the West… […]

  3. dwpbike said,

    p.s.s.: xtube sux

  4. allthingsuncertain said,

    I’m right there with you, man. At the end of the day, it’s about choice. Whether your choices or mine, we’re each as entitled to them as the other, even if they’re on opposite ends of the spectrum. Within reason, of course – the choice to kill a man, for instance, would be a tricky one to argue as our due, but even that is only because of the way our society has assigned morality to acts that are ultimately abstract. I have to say I’m pretty skeptical about that whole piracy-funds-terrorism line of argument. I guess maybe it does, indirectly, but then so do many other things. Buying weed, say. The MPAA (or the BBFC here in Britain) churns out those ‘don’t buy bootlegs, they kill people’ ads because piracy is hurting them, and then only financially, not because they’re on some selfless quest to save the world or something. If people smoking weed meant that they’d be less likely to watch movies, maybe we’d see the MPAA fronting a campaign that about grass killing the environment.

    Anyway. Glad you enjoyed the links, and you’re right, RedTube was the best of ’em – and it’ll be back. In the meantime, we all have our little hard drive libraries.

  5. Dichotomia said,

    That’s the way Islam “religion of peace” works. It wants to remove your freedom of choice and subject you to it’s own medieval ideology. If it can’t do that it wants to murder you for being an infidel. It’s far more satanic than watching porn clips.

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