This Blog Did Not Happen

November 11, 2008 at 7:24 (politics, Satire, The Funs, Video Games, Videos) (, )

I’ve promised several times not to make this very post, but.


A Lesson To Us All

The more attentive of you may have noticed Gears of War 2 in the neat little gamertag tracker on the sidebar.  Thusly: except for a few articles I’ve stashed in my drafts, expect very little for the immediate future.

That is all.


Soundtrack to this Entry: At The Drive-In – Relationship of Command


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True Story, Swear to God

November 7, 2008 at 14:43 (News, politics, The Funs, Video Games)

I’ll have a couple more appropriate updates for you all later on today and through the weekend – or at least I damn well beter; I’m juggling three different drafts at the moment and my browser’s buckling under the strain – but for now, consider me helpless.  Despite assurances to the contrary, how can I not point you fair discerning few to this incredible portrait of America’s new Big Mac?

Spacecoyotes Obama
Spacecoyote’s Obama

Rendered, in case you haven’t wasted enough of your life on video games to recognise as much, in the style of Okami, the superlative PS2 RPG which saw a Wiimake on Nintendo’s little white waggle-box earlier this year.  Whether or not a trail of flowers will flourish from out of nowhere wherever the new President-elect walks remains to be seen.  Cynical bastard that I am, I tend to suspect not, although the impromptu flashmobs that sprung up in San Franciso and much of the rest of America after the networks started calling it for Obama give me reason to hope I’m mistaken.  I often am, and there’s a sweet sort of eagerness to believe amongst the people out there cheering on street corners for the future of the United States that I’d hate to see reality betray.

But consider this the last Obama post for the forseeable.  This isn’t a political blog, after all, and I haven’t forgotten as much – it’s hard, on the other hand, not to get caught up in zeitgeisty excitement that’s come of America finally kicking out the George junior jams.  It may only a matter of time until everything goes tits-up again – isn’t it always? – but for now, it feels like this could be the beginning a brave new world.  However much Europe might hate on the United States, the level-headed understand how pivotal it is in the global climate.  If Obama lives up to the promises he made on the campaign trail, just imagine how different our worldview could be by the end of the decade.

Maybe a new Kyoto treaty finally gets through and global warming doesn’t melt us all.

Maybe stem cells aren’t dead babies anymore.  Maybe they save lives and change medicine forever.

Maybe we aren’t going to war with Iran, after all.  Or North Korea.  Or China.  Or one another.

Maybe the economy picks up some and I can start importing stuff from again.

Or maybe things are so thoroughly awful at the moment that we’ll hightail it after any old dream.  I can’t wait to be wrong.

In any case, with this and the achievement unlocked picture from bonfire night, plainly, yes, I’ve outed myself as one of those strange creatures who see major world events through the lens of video games.  Who’s up for an NPD number-driven review of the economic downturn?  The state of the media according to its portrayal of first-person shooters?

I thought not.  Fear not, precious uncertainites, the political posts are done.


Soundtrack to this entry: God is an Astronaut – God is an Astronaut (2008)

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Gamerscore Whore

November 5, 2008 at 18:23 (News, politics, Video Games)

No, fear not, I’m not back for another round of politics, just to quietly offer the following as an addendum to this morning’s post.

My My, Mr President, What An Excellent Gamerscore You Have...

My My, Mr President, What An Excellent Gamerscore You Have...

And it’s the youth of America what did this.  They came out in force, two in every three of them voting for Obama, and changed the face of the world in a single night.  Well done, little people

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Some Things Obama

November 5, 2008 at 8:21 (News, politics, Rants)

Damn, can anyone say landslide?

I was this close to posting late last night to cleverly predict that Obama would win the day but that it’d be tighter than anyone expected.  General tardiness saves the day again!

Patriot, President, Black Guy

Patriot, President, Black Guy

But out with the old and in with the new, I’m all for that.  Bush isn’t gone just yet but he’s been so powerless lately that I’d almost forgotten he was still shuffling around the White House in his special President slippers.  There’s a new sheriff in town and I can honestly say I’m pleased about it.  A mite surprised that so much of America turned out to make a choice I feared they’d balk at – and more than a touch taken aback that a black Democrat beat out a gun-totin’ Vietnam vet with the heft of the South behind him – but pleased.  Here’s hoping he’s as excellent as the most powerful man in the world as he has been a public speaker.

I’d still rather have Martin Sheen, though.  MS and all.  I so wish that were the world…

Ah, Jed...

Ah, Jed...

One tantalising plot thread remains unresolved, however!  Where will Sarah Palin go next?  Whatever will become of the scene-stealing guest star that took the United States by storm?  Will it be Saturday Night Live, or Hustler’s centre pages?  It’s up to you, America.

That’s it.  The politics are over.  I’m out.

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All Things Babylon

July 3, 2008 at 19:36 (Music, News, politics, Rants) (, , , , , , )

This is brilliant.  I don’t know if it’s new news or age-old, but according to the BBC, ‘Babylon’ by David Gray is among the greatest hits of US torturers in Iraq.

Amongst all the musician’s unsurprising whines, of course, he has a point: play anything to death and it becomes an annoyance, whether it’s trash or Tchaikovsky.  And yes, whatever the comedy value of their choice of song, they’re still torturers, and torturers are bad people with rotten capitalist hearts and teeth yellow as pissed-in snow.

Still – what could be funner?

If only someone had the wit to strip the detainees naked and ride them like pack animals… hillarity would ensue, surely, to a predictable Benny Hill soundtrack.  Enough, even, that these jolly sadists might memorialise a few Kodak moments for the family album?  Now there’s a thought.


That is all.

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